5 Responses to “Did eHarmony Sell Out?”

1. S. Johnson
   November 26th, 2008 @ 12:58 am

   Granted e-harmony has provided a valuable service to Christian couples, and these services could be lost if e-harmony takes their principles too far. I think the best analogy is that of the Obstetrician. If there comes a time when Christian obstetricians are told they must perform abortions to stay in practice, would we accept a similar argument? That is, would we find it acceptable for the Christian obstetrician to argue that delivering babies is a good and noble and often life saving service—and thus in order to provide this good service, it is acceptable to be a party to deaths of other children?

   Of course one might counter that killing children and implicitly supporting the gay agenda by providing matchmaking services, are far apart on the spectrum of sin. This actually opens up a larger question—how much wrong can a Christian do in order to preserve a greater good. For example, lying is considered to be wrong. Yet when Christians employed lying as a means to hide Jewish families from the Nazis, few found fault with the lies they told. There appears also to be Biblical precedent as when Rehab was blessed for her lie when she hid the Jewish spies.

   It appears then while living in an evil world there will be times when we will be forced by evil circumstances to allow some wrong for a greater good. The question then remains, how do we know how much evil is permissible for a given good? The best answer I can think of is that we must align our priorities with those of God. Those things that appear most sacred to God, must also be most sacred to us and preserving them, may require methods that would be unacceptable in other circumstances. For example, Life appears to be high up on the list of what God holds sacred.

   The question then becomes how sacred does God find the matchmaking services of e-harmony? While e-harmony may be a tool that God has employed in helping couples meet, it seems unlikely that this is the only tool at His disposal. After all Christian men and woman have somehow muddled through finding each other for thousands of years before e-harmony came to be. Given the vast resources of God, I would wager that matchmaking is pretty far from the sacred. Thus, I would submit that there is very little wiggle room for tolerating the unholy for this cause.

2. people4people
   November 28th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm

   Abhor evil and cleave to that which is good. Evil is never good, ever ever. Simply because people have lied in order that they may do something they know is good, does not mean they should have lied. Lying is never ever good. There is always a way to do good without sinning, and if caught between sinning so that one may do good or doing the right thing even though it will result in pain for others or even their deaths. That which is good must be done. In the case of christians who hid jews in during WW2, it would be better for them to remain silent if approached by german soldiers. If they were arrested and the jewish people they were hiding were taken at least they would have not sinned against their God. They would not have lied, neither would they have spoken. Jesus said every word that men speak will have to be accounted for. In relation to eharmony. They sold out. There is no such thing as “let us do evil that good may come.” If God brings good out of it, it is because He is gracious., not because we are cunning or smart.

3. people4people
   November 28th, 2008 @ 1:45 pm

   S.Johnson,
   I agree with you, there is no wiggle room for eharmony here.

4. S.Johnson
   December 2nd, 2008 @ 11:33 am

   People4People,

   I don’t mean to be unkind but I think you have over simplified complex moral problems. Remaining silent in Nazi Germany would not have been a realistic solution. I can only imagine what would happen to those who chose not to answer questions posed by the Nazis. More than likely this would have resulted in a search of the property in question. End result–more Jews to the death camps. Or at best, those remaining silent would have been dragged away for more vigorous questioning. Those left behind in hiding would not be in a position to procure food etc. End result–starvation or eventual surrender.

   The French underground used deception as a tool to help topple the Nazi reign of terror. The art of misdirection was used also by the allied forces in winning the war.

   Even today there are intelligence agents around the world who have successfully used deception to infitrate terrorist organizations and have averted several planned terrorist attacks. Would it have been better not to have lied and had a higher body count in the country?

   Law enforcement routinely uses deception to root out corruption, find online predators and close down drug pipelines. How many parents would prefer that online predators be allowed to lure children to some nasty fate, rather than have some agent of law enforcement lie by posing as a 13 year old child?

   I could spin many more scenarios where life would be lost if not for deception–where remaining silent just would not accomplish the greater good.

   In a fallen world sometimes we are forced to choose the lesser evil for the greater good.

   Consider also the fact that Rehab was rewarded. Consider also 1 Kings 22:22 “The LORD said to him, ‘How?’ And he said, ‘I will go out and be a deceiving spirit in the mouth of all his prophets.’ Then He said, ‘You are to entice {him} and also prevail. Go and do so.’ Some versions interpret “deceiving spirit” as “lying spirit”.

   Sounds like while God Himself is not lying, this particular deception is getting His stamp of approval to accomplish a greater good. Frankly, I have always found it a bit disturbing that the God who cannot lie (Titus 1:2) could approve of deception.

   In summary I think the issues are more complex than you have presented them.

5. people4people
   December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:20 am

   S. Johnson,
   We can’t use examples of worldly persons like spies and cops or rebels to show how lying could be good. Lying is evil period. Has God by his own mouth ever employed deception (ever lied). The words of God’s mouth are pure and all truth. God doesn’t ever lie, this is clear especially that Jesus [who is God] never lied. In the context of helping jewish persons during the holocaust, one must do what they can without sinning. You can not justify sinning by concluding that because the end is good the means of it matters not. It doesn’t matter if police or spies use deception, they are of the world. They aren’t exactly an example of godliness and holiness. By all means one should have done their all to help jewish persons, but remember we Love God with every thing we are, that means if some one dies because I’m forced to chose between sinning that I may save them, or either keeping silent or telling the truth which may lead to their death. I will chose that which is holy.

   Rehab was an example of a person who had faith yes, but lets not forget that she was a prostitute and in fact a liar. She is commended as hero of faith, not of moral character like say Job or Daniel. She had faith that the God who rescued the hebrews from egypt and did mighty acts would certainly destroy a city like jericho. She lacked knowledge, hence her lying. But she had enough faith in the God of Israel to see and know that he alone is God. Hence she is listed as a hero of faith. Its like Samson, who is listed as a hero of faith also, even though he constantly broke his nazarite oaths. He drunk the fruit of the vine, he touched the corpse of a dead body (lion). He was not an example of godly character like Samuel, he is an example of an oath breaker, yet He had great faith and God is pleased by Faith, hence Samson when His hair grew back was strengthened by God that He may be used by God Most High to destroy the temple of dagon and slaughter the philistine enemy. Moses killed an egyptian and hid his body under the sand [he may have thought it was ok to do so especially because that egyptian was hurting a fellow hebrew], yet God used Him. We are all sinners so we tend to sin. But God does not ever lax his precepts, His ways are Holy always.

   In a fallen world we are not given the option to chose the “lesser of two evils” thats how the world thinks, the ends justify the means. Nope, God wants us to obey his word. His ways are perfect, and Jesus said “Be perfect as your father in Heaven is perfect.”

   In regards to how a lying spirit was sent out to deceive, lets remember
   a) God is sovereign over all things and can use any person or animal or spirit to achieve his purposes for example he used an evil king like Nechubnezzar to chastise Judah, he used Cyrus to accomplish his purpose of having the people of Judah return to their land. He used a donkey to rebuke Balaam, He used a fish to rescue Jonah, He used ravens to feed Elijah, He used a lying spirit to have Ahab killed (earlier prophets had predicted Ahab’s demise). Considering Ahab was an evil King, and that he had to be killed that the word of God may be fulfilled. The means were not evil, fine a lying spirit was used (God actually asked who would go out to entice Ahab, the lying spirit offered to go out and lie. God did not ask for a person to lie, the spirit chose to do so. [probably because it is lying spirit]). Now, James tells us that God does not tempt, but that our own lusts give birth to sin, this tells us the mechanics of what happened to Ahab. He must have had this lust within him, the lying spirit simply did what lying spirits do. God’s word was thus fulfilled, yes a lying spirit was used to achieve this. But God remained Holy through out for He was passing righteous judgement on Ahab who was an exceedingly wicked king. The lying spirit did not lie in the name of The LORD, nope. It went out as a lying spirit on its own account. However we are the people called by the name of The LORD, should we then go out and become liars? Because thats what a person who lies is.

   I do agree with you, it is complex, but it also is simple. Its been said that simplicity is complex. The greater good is always the glorification of God according to his will and word, not our own hearts. As it is written in Jeremiah 17 “the heart of man is desperately wicked who can know it.”
   The lesser of evils option never exists for us.

   Here’s a scenario:

   A father, mother and his children are held hostage in a house in a city in a country whose people are extremely hostile to christians. They tell the father to recant his faith in Jesus Christ. He refuses, they then point their guns to his children and say if He does not recant they will kill his family and ravage his wife while he watches. He refuses to recant and they follow through with what they said they would do. He still refuses to recant after all of that. Would you say He has done wrong because he seemingly lacked compassion for his household? I would say such a person stayed true to the faith, He Loved Jesus with all his heart, soul, mind and strength . He Loved Jesus and in comparison hated his wife and children just as the word of God says we should. This is obviously an extreme scenario, but it holds through with all we do. His heart may have cried out at all the evil which was being done to those he loves, people who are his family. But he stayed true to the word of God.

   Another thing I guess, is that we could ask God to reveal to us what to do in hard situations, He is faithful and will alway tell us what to do, and it will always be according to his will and his revealed word.

   That said, I can see where you’re coming from. But I think this is where i stand, i think the word of God is pretty straight on the issue.

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